Kya Be Kallu, Oye Kalua, Kalu Ram - FuseBulbs
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Kya Be Kallu, Oye Kalua(What’s up to Black)

The day was as monotonous as it could be. I reviewed my code for the 100th time. Any second Aparichit in me would have turned into Arnab Goswami and asked the nation Why my code is not getting compiled?
Precisely at that movement, an arrogant and loud statement shook my eardrum.

Mr. White enters

“Kya be Kalua,” I have heard this nonsense before. As my head moved side by, I encountered My White chewing betel quid. Mr. White, with his red Betel lips,1/4 mouth open, was addressing Mr. Black, “Kya be Kalua, Kaisa hai.”
Few laughed, Few ignored, I observed. Mr. White, with Betel liquid escaping through the corner of his lips, was standing with a cunning, Humiliating smile and a 56-inch chest. He was behaving as if he just got India a Nobel Prize.


Mr. Black, with his pale face, Fake Smile, and embarrassed body, wanting to hide somewhere. I could see in his pale face the embarrassment he was concealing with his grim smile.

Mr. White Leave

After Mr white left, not before decorating the wall with brilliant red graffiti at the corner, I went to Mr black. I called him “Kya be Kallu.” This time his face reflected a combination of Pale, Surprise, Anger, and embarrassment. He said, “Kya yaar Anish tum to mat bolo.”

A colleague of mine shouted so ferociously, causing my stimulus to respond with Bhai Maaf Kar De, Goli Mat Marna(you never know it’s Delhi). How dare you call him black? How could you be so mean? Have you lost your Empathy, Sympathy, Compassion blah blah blah…
Dude, calm down. He is black, I am brown, you are white, Mt Everest is the highest peak.
That’s it brother, No big deal. He is no Donald Trump who needs your sympathy, Empathy, Compassion, love, care, etc. He is just black, he ain’t causing global warming, He didn’t make Delhi worst polluted city, This man has never tasted liquor.
Why and what should he be ashamed of? Mr white is not at fault here. He is just stating a fact. It’s Mr. Black’s inferiority with his color that needs attention.
We didn’t talk to each other that day.

The next Day

The next day, we discussed tenets of privatizing government companies when Mr white, with his red lips, appeared again.
As usual, he addressed Mr. Black with “Kya Be Kallu,” few were about to laugh, few were about to ignore, I was about to observe, but time has stopped. To everyone’s amazement, Mr black replied, “Kya Be Gora,” We were shocked. Still, Mr. Black continued, “You cow milk,” “Ponds powder,” “Fair & Lovely,” “you filthy Donald trump.” Every sentence of his echoed as if he is standing on his confidence cliff. Mr.White was shocked and scared. He was drowning in his own arrogance.


There was pin-drop silence.

I could hear Mr. Black’s heart throbbing. I thought Mr white will leave the room, but the day was full of surprises, Mr white burst out into laughter, and we all laughed with him.

In my school days, many of my friends hated being called Bihari, Natua, Kalua, etc., but there was one, there is always a black sheep. He never minded. I think he loved being called kalua. He used to tell me that he never understood What if in the song

हमें काले हैइं तो क्या हुआ दिलवाले हैइं

He always used to sing

“हमें काले है ,दिलवाले है

पीछे मुड़ के देख तेरे **** में मेरा ***** है” 😂😂😂😂 and I used to die laughing.

He taught me that “the feeling of superiority is directly proportional to inferiority“.

The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author and do not intend to hurt the sentiments of any individual.

Also, Read:-Election Me Ka Ba

By ANISH SINGH

IT Analyst at Tata Consultancy Services. Follow @aniluvall

One thought on “Kya Be Kallu, Oye Kalua, Kalu Ram”
  1. I loved the story very much . There is something to gain from this. Our mother gives name to us but there are friends too to give us a nickname .we shouldn’t mind it and move on

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